Ever Feel Like Life is Harder Than It Should Be? This Might Be Why…

Mar 13

Executive Function (EF) Differences.

By Tana Noonan, LMFT | tananoonanlmft.com

You’re not “lazy” - Your Brains Command Center (EF) Might Just Be Wired Differently.

You’re smart. You’re capable. But somehow, daily tasks—managing time, staying organized, following through—feel way harder than they should. If you’ve always felt like you’re just keeping your head above water while everyone else seems to glide effortlessly through life, executive functioning (EF) challenges might be the reason.

The good news? It’s not a character flaw, and you’re not alone.

Understanding how your unique brain works can help you create systems that support you, not fight against you. Let’s break it down.

So, What is Executive Functioning?

Think of executive functions as your brain’s control center—the set of cognitive skills that help you:

✅ Manage time effectively (or at least try!)
✅ Stay focused on what matters (instead of chasing distractions)
✅ Plan, organize, and prioritize (without drowning in overwhelm)
✅ Regulate emotions and impulses (before saying or doing something you regret)

When EF skills don’t develop as expected—often due to ADHD or neurodivergent wiring—daily life feels like a never-ending game of catch-up.

The ADHD Brain & Executive Dysfunction

ADHD isn’t just about hyperactivity—it’s a delay in executive function development. Research shows the prefrontal cortex in ADHD brains develops more slowly, affecting:

🧠 Dopamine & Motivation: Struggling to start (or finish) tasks? It’s not laziness—it’s brain chemistry (Arnsten & Rubia, 2012).
🕰 Time Blindness: Difficulty estimating how long things take leads to missed deadlines and last-minute scrambling (Barkley, 2012).
🔁 Task Switching: Getting “stuck” on unimportant tasks while avoiding what actually matters (Sonuga-Barke & Castellanos, 2007).

This is not about effort—it’s neurological.

How EF Challenges Show Up in Real Life

💼 At Work:

Saying yes to too many projects → burnout
Missing deadlines because you underestimated task time
Desk and inbox cluttered with “I’ll deal with this later” piles

❤️ In Relationships:

Forgetting important dates (oops)
Zoning out mid-conversation → partner feeling ignored
Reacting impulsively in arguments, making conflicts worse

🏠 At Home:

Chores piling up until they feel too big to tackle
Overspending on impulse buys
Struggling to plan meals → endless takeout orders

👶 As a Parent:

Creating (and sticking to) routines feels impossible
Losing patience during tantrums
Forgetting school forms, events, or permission slips

Sound familiar? You’re not alone. And the good news? You can work with your brain, not against it.

Practical Strategies to Support Executive Functioning

✅ 1. Externalize Everything
Your brain will forget. Set up systems to offload memory work:

Use phone alarms, whiteboards, sticky notes
Set reminders for appointments, bills, deadlines
Keep a “landing zone” for important items (keys, wallet, phone)

🛠 2. Break Down Tasks (Even Smaller Than You Think)
If “clean the house” feels overwhelming, try:
☑ Pick up clothes from the floor
☑ Wipe the counters
☑ Vacuum one room

Smaller steps = less overwhelm = more follow-through.

⏳ 3. Time Management Hacks That Work for ADHD Brains

Pomodoro Technique: Work 25 minutes, break 5 minutes (Cirillo, 2006).
Time Blocking: Assign specific times for tasks instead of “I’ll do it later.”
Visual Clocks & Timers: Keep you anchored to reality.

🔄 4. Make Routines Automatic (So You Don’t Have to Think About Them)
Morning Example: Wake up → Stretch → Check planner → Start task
Evening Example: Review tomorrow’s schedule → Wind down → Sleep

🤝 5. Use “Body Doubling” for Accountability
Struggle to stay on task alone? Work alongside someone—even virtually (Dawson & Guare, 2018).

🏃 6. Move Your Body to Engage Your Brain

Short walks or stretching between tasks boost focus
Fidget tools help restless energy while working
Regular exercise increases dopamine → improving motivation (Ratey, 2008)

🧘 7. Manage Emotional Overwhelm with Mindfulness

Box Breathing: Inhale 4 sec → Hold 4 sec → Exhale 4 sec → Hold 4 sec
Grounding: “Name 5 things you see, 4 you touch, 3 you hear…”
Reframing: Shift “I’m failing” to “I’m figuring it out.”

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Broken—You’re Wired Differently

Your brain isn’t bad at executive functioning. It just works differently. The trick? Stop forcing yourself into neurotypical strategies that don’t work and start building systems that work for YOU.

Let’s make life easier, not harder.